Help Data_Bill

What runs but doesn't have legs?
A NOSE!
What goes up and down the stairs without moving?
A CARPET!!
What goes around the world and stays in a corner?
A STAMP!!
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A TOWEL!!
Why is the Statue of Liberty's nose 11 inches?
Because if it were 12 inches it would be a foot!!
Did anyone laugh at the Tyranasaurus when it fell on the ice?
No, they were too scared - only the ice made some cracks....
What pillar is never used to hold up a building?
A CATERPILLER!!
What has teeth but cannot bite?
A COMB!!
Why does gus plant bulbs?
So worms can see underground...
What goes tick-tock woof?
A WATCH dog!!
What sort of horse does a vampire ride?
A nightMARE!!
Why do babies love to play basketball?
Because they are very good at dribbling!
What kind of baths do ghosts take?
BOO!-ble baths!!
Why did the book go to the hospital?
Because it hurt its spine!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts!
What's grey and wears a glass slipper?
Cinder-elephant!
Who invented fire?
I don't know.. but they must have been a bright spark!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A BULLDOZER!
What pie can fly?
A magPIE!!
What do you call a ship trembling at the bottom of the ocean?
A nervous wreck!
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.....
Why did Dracula go to jail?
For stealing from the Blood Bank!
Which writer do fish hate the most?
SHARKspeare!
Did you know that Pigsy knows Karate?
Now, they call him a pork CHOP!
What is the best thing to put into a chocolate cake?
Your teeth!
Why was Cinderella no good at soccer?
Because she kept running away from the ball!
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Great big holes all over the Land Down Under!
What boots do koalas wear?
GUM BOOTS!!
Where does a platypus keep his money?
In the river BANK!!
What is the best year for a kangaroo?
A leap year!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A woolly jumper!
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick!
How do echidnas play leap frog?
Very carefully!
What has a head and a tail, but no body?
A COIN!!
What is big, gray and walks on one leg?
A HOPpopotomus!!
Why don't traffic lights go swimming?
Because they spend all their time changing!
What do young koalas do on the weekend?
They spend koala-ty time with their parents.
Why do mother koalas carry babies on their backs?
Because it's hard to push a pram up a tree.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because the kids have to play inside...
What did the girl mushroom say about the boy mushroom?
He's a real fun-guy!
Did you know Tripitaka refused laughing gas during root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Where do you get satisfaction from?
A satisFACTORY!