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Mudder's Rhapsody
by Ken "Hawkeye" Keys (hawkeye@tcp.com)
(to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen)
 
Is this the RealLife, or a virtual reality?
Caught in a MUD slide, no escape from this fantasy.
Open your eyes, look up at your CRT....
I'm just a MUDder, I need no topology,
Because I'm easy come, easy go.
'Cause I've got a macro.
Any way the link goes, doesn't really matter to me... to me.
 
Wizard, I just killed a girl.
She had TinySex with me, then I found out she's a he.
And Wizard, he was logging it.
And now he's posted it on rec.games.mud.
Wizard, ooh ooh ooh oooh,
Didn't mean to make you boot me.
If I'm not logged on this time tomorrow,
Recycle me, recycle me, and recycle all my objects.
 
Too late, my account's run out.
Gonna kick me off the net, I have no client to connect.
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you on this MUD and face RealLife.
Wizard, ooh ooh ooh ooh,
I don't want to go,
I sometimes wish I'd never logged on at all.
 
I see a silly little smiley on a pose.
Gotta MUD! Gotta MUD! Will you do the BONK-OIF thing?
Whisper-bombs and killing, very very thrilling, OIF!
TinyTalk, FooTalk, TinyFugue, TinyWar.
TinyWar does not exist.
Where did it go-o-o-o?
 
'm just a MUDder, I need no topology.
He's just a MUDder sitting at a CRT!
Spare his eyes from radioactivity!
Easy come, easy go, 'cause I've got a macro
 
Islandia, No!
We will not let you go
Let it go!
Islandia, No!
We will not let you go
Let it go!
Never, never, never let it go, go, go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
It is sinking, it is sinking, it is sinking, let it go.
Islandia is sinking beneath the sea, the sea, the seeeeea!
 
So you think you can BONK me and slap me HIGH5?
So you think you can spoof me, pretend you are I?
Oh, mucker, can't do this to me mucker.
Just gotta log out, just gotta get off of this port.
 
Any way the link goes,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me.
Any way the link goes.
BONK.

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